It's been a while...

... since I have felt the need to air my thoughts and feelings somewhere. Feelings and thoughts that does not necessitate any response. Hence no Facebook, no instagram. I wonder are you happy with me. I wonder if I am making you happy. I wonder what I can do. I am at a lost. I am tired.

As I was driving home, one thing that I thought was "I'm so glad we enjoy the same things, how often do you find someone who enjoys playing the same game you do, who enjoys competing to see who performs better, who enjoys doing things together in another world."

Sometimes I think everyone needs a bit of restraint with their words. Words can wound deeply and deeper than anything you can do physically. You singlehandedly took the enjoyment out of something I enjoyed.

I am lost now. I am tired out. I need someone to tell me what I should do.

hide

I feel like running away to somewhere quiet, hiding myself until you come and find me...

可惜不是你

以為在你身邊 那也算永遠
彷彿還是昨天
可是昨天 已非常遙遠
但閉上我雙眼 我還看得見

メランコリー

幸せというのは何？

家族の一員になること？

家族の一員になることを願っても、不可能だとおもっている。

だれにものせいではない。

Christmas markets

Somehow, I'm thinking of Christmas markets. 

When a couple breaks up, people will take sides... unfortunately.

もう少し抱いてください

I love this video, it says so much.
What I want is someone who is always willing to run with me.
Encouraging each other. Supporting each other.
If I should falter, to be there until I get back up again.
If I should go first, to continue running for us.

If you falter, I will be by your side.
If you fall, I will help you up.
If you surge ahead, I will do my best to catch up.

Different people have difference pace.
Are you willing to compromise and run together?

Change

Sometimes changes are forced upon you. Take it with a positive mindset. Sometime better might be waiting for you after the changes.

Falling

"Everyone deserves to be happy"

I'm falling fast

I hope this lasts
I'm falling hard for you
I say "let's take a chance"
Take it while we can

I know you feel it too

Pieces

Last night a friend asked me: "9 years, I wonder how long it will take for you to really move on?".
I could only say: "She has already moved on. She's with someone else now."
Someone who is able to pamper her in ways that I did not and cannot do.

I am trying my best to move on but it has not been easy.
There are still times where I wonder if I'm now defective:
Unwilling to love because I'm yearning for the past.
Fearing to commit because I'm scared of the future.
Scarred from the many failed attempts to find love again.
Unable to give my heart, because it's still lying in pieces.

I'm hoping someday, I will be able to love someone fully without holding back.

When you love someone 

Your heartbeat beats so loud 

When you love someone 

Your feet can't feel the ground 

When you love someone 

It comes back to you